Emotional dependency is something a lot of people struggle with. The more aware you become of what emotional dependency is and how to overcome it the easier it will be to avoid it and for those who are stuck within it, break free.
Emotional dependence by definition is the reluctance or refusal to emotionally accept your adult role. It is like being a child to those in your life, you allow your significant other (or someone in your life) to be in charge of all you do and you find your sense of security within them. Your own needs and even your actions are something you are unable to address or own. You rely on someone else entirely.
This person makes major decisions for you, reassures you, gives advice and basically takes care of you which can be exhausting for them in a lot of ways. That being said, a lot of people think that their emotional dependence on someone else is love. Love is not being so dependent on someone else that you are unable to function as a human being without them by your side and you need to know that. Below I am going to go over some of the signs that you may be emotionally dependent on your partner, while some of these signs might be easier to face than others they’re all important to address.
1. Your partner is clearly being held back by you in several ways.
Your partner doesn’t get to do things he or she wants to do because they have to take care of you. You are always holding your partner back from living his or her life and while you might not see it or hear about it as often, it is happening. They might want to go do things without you from time to time but you make it impossible for that to happen.
2. You are always blaming your partner for the way you feel.
If you are blaming anyone but yourself for the way you feel, you’re making a mistake. You are responsible for your own well-being and you need to own that. Your partner is not always bringing you down in the ways you might make him or her out to be. If they’re not abusing you or cheating on you, chances are you need to work on yourself.
3. You are always on edge when waiting for your partner in general.
Your partner cannot do much without you as is but when he or she does getaway, you spend all your time waiting for them to come home or check-in. You sit by the phone waiting for their call and when it’s a minute or two late your mind jumps to the worst possible thing. You think because they haven’t popped in, they’re leaving you no matter what and that’s just not the case.
4. You are far too needy.
You are always relying on your partner for everything. It’s like you don’t know how to exist without him or her and that is scary. He or she might not always be in your life and you need to know how to be yourself.
5. You never want to spend time with anyone but your partner, ever.
You have closed yourself off from the rest of the world. You never want to be around anyone but your partner. This is a serious thing that doesn’t leave you with much once the relationship goes south. Hanging out with friends and family is normal and should happen at least from time to time.
6. You do not feel ‘worthy’ without your partner’s approval.
If your partner isn’t cheering you on every step of the way, you lose your gall to push through. If you’re unable to make things happen on your own you need to work within. You are a strong person who should hold your own sense of confidence.
7. You change yourself to fit more properly with your partner (likes, dislikes, and so forth).
You pretend to like things your partner likes to make him or her happy or to make it seem like you have more in common. For instance, you date someone who likes a specific sports team and so you’re all about that team now as well. This is fake and leaves a sour taste in the mouth of all involved. Never build off a lie like this.
8. You are constantly seeking validation from your partner.
You feel as if your partner is the only person in the world who matters. You go out of your way to impress him/her and are never doing things that you just want to do. This is a serious issue that leaves you wasting a lot of time. If you want to be validated, find that validation within.
9. You literally feel empty without your partner by your side even just for a short moment.
When your partner isn’t with you, it’s like you’re losing parts of who you are. You rely on your partner for your sense of stability and it shows. You even for a short period shut down when he or she isn’t around.
10. You are very possessive over your partner.
You feel as if your partner belongs to you and are extremely possessive. He or she isn’t someone you trust and neither are the people around him or her. Everything gets under your skin and the mere thought of losing him or her is enough to send you over the edge.