Recovering from narcissistic abuse is not easy in any sense of the word. Breaking free is hard and from there really finding yourself properly once all is said and done might feel impossible but it’s not.
As people working to recover from narcissistic abuse, we struggle with feeling powerless or broken, and we have a lot of missing pieces that we’re working to find. Some of us even go through more serious issues like PTSD and other things of the sort and our pain is not as invisible as some people might make it out to be. Overcoming your trauma-symptoms is no walk in the park but you can do it and you will do it in time.
Through taking your power back recovery is very possible but it takes time. For some that time-period might be a bit short and for others that time-period might be quite long, we all handle things in different ways. I recently came across an article in Psychology Today from a few years back and in it, the writer was speaking to another blogger for the site who weighed in on why it was hard to recover from these kinds of relationships and what he said really got me thinking.
He said that people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) are constantly pushing and pulling when we try to leave and as a result, we are in many ways re-traumatized when they try to reach out. This for me is true, and I am sure is also true for some of you. Getting a message from your narcissistic ex asking why you won’t give him/her another chance or calling you crazy is never a good feeling and it takes you back to that place even if just for a moment. This is why cutting ties completely is always the best answer when it comes to leaving narcissistic people in the past.
When it comes to moving on your best bet is to focus on yourself and try to hold your head up high all the while working to find yourself. Sure, that might be easier said than done but you can do it. You are stronger than you think.
While many experts focus on the narcissist, I prefer to focus on you and the lessons you need to learn so that you can let go, move on, and hopefully never repeat the experience. Before you can move on, the most important thing to understand about narcissists is that underneath their apparent self-confidence is a profound lack of self-esteem.
Narcissists do not think well of themselves, and to make themselves feel better, they choose partners who doubt themselves and their capabilities.
Let me put it this way: If you had strong self-esteem and confidence in yourself, you would not be chosen by a narcissist as a possible partner. This is because narcissists like to control and feel superior. People with healthy self-confidence who make the mistake of entering a relationship with a narcissist quickly become aware of the emotional abuse and cut the relationship short. They recognize that there is something out of balance and that it’s easier to move on. Most importantly, they refuse to take the blame. Instead, knowing they are unhappy, they focus on themselves and deal confidently and quickly with a relationship that has no value.
Oh and stop judging yourself as well, that too was something Psych Central noted. You need to work on believing in yourself as a whole and knowing what you are capable of. Set proper boundaries and really practice self-care on a real level. For more information on this topic please check out the video below.